Sitt'n on the porch Cut-Wind

As I get older, I plan to have more and more porch time, but I plan for that time to be on the porch of my sailboat Cut-N-Wind and I my even get a little sun while I'm at it, but I'll be trying not to shock and offend the neighbors, there are plenty of other ways to do that.

Growing older isn't always fun, but a lot of fun is there for the taking along the way if we just put out a little effort and take it.

I really like to go to San Carlos, Mexico. There are many reasons, but one of the big ones is that I am surrounded by people very much like me. The really neat thing is, I'm one of the younger of the crowd, and often asked where I work. When I tell them I retired at 52, they assume it was a medical retirement and I have to explain that I wanted to live a little before they set me in a chair on the porch.

One of the fears as we, (I think) most of us have if we live long enough is the one of getting old and the unpleasant things that come with age.

Some, or possibly many, aren't too sure we will live long enough to get old. If in a depressed moment we see an old person and think ,someday that could be me, we lose that thought very quickly.

This thought erasure is usually caused by distraction, this distraction can be a deliberate act like, "I don't like thinking about something as unpleasant as old age and the major life changes that come with it."

The other way the thought gets changed is by something more exciting, grabbing our attention, an example this actually happened to me a few years ago when we as a family went to Cancun.

Debbie and I were walking down the beach and got to a hotel that was a favorite of Europeans. You have probably already guessed the rest, but you may be wrong for assuming too quickly.

Yes there was a topless lady, (or maybe female might be a better description).

There were a couple of minor problems ,the first was, I really didn't notice she was topless. I can hear you all now, "Oh sure, a topless lady on the beach in Cancun and the ole country boy Tracker didn't notice."

There are two things that I must mention a this point. The first is sometimes when you see something really shocking, your mind just doesn't register or compute what you are seeing, the second in this case it was so different in appearance.

I say different, and you ask what are you talking about? Well, this tourist was well aged, or maybe I should say looked like she had seen lots of years and some pretty hard miles with all those years. This fine specimen of an old withered female was tanned beyond tan, she had the appearance of well worn leather except this leather was a lot more wrinkled than well tanned leather.

At first, I thought she had two dark brown leather wine flasks hanging down her front, she had on the skimpiest thong bikini bottoms,to put it mildly the sight was beyond shocking...appalling is the closest word I can come up with, but it doesn't even portray what I saw. It took a long stare to try to analyse and compute in my mind.

The image must have really burnt in to those memory cells, because it is still there, this was about ten years ago and it hasn't dimmed much.

We are getting closer to old age, but the hot desert sun hasn't cooked my brain to the point that I can make myself believe that burnt, withered, dried, wrinkled on our old, less than perfect bodies is anything but disgusting.

And if I feel that way, think what young people must feel when they are forced to see this sight of old age with out any shame. And I might add, one of their first thoughts must be, "Are these old geezers nuts or what?"

I can't say that the thought of old age doesn't go through my mind a little more often than few years ago, but I can say that I have made myself some promises and a few of them are discussed in the following paragraphs.

Old men with beer belly's should leave their shirts on, except when showering, or in the dark of night, in the privacy of their own homes. The problem with old men with pot bellies, is they never look in a mirror, except one to shave or comb the few hardy hairs that are fighting hard to live, but loosing the battle with old father time.

What really hit me hard about how down right disgusting old balding guys are. The hair loss battle is on their heads, except for the nose, eyebrows, and ears, which between the three of them could put the best of wire brushes to shame.

If these coarse, wiry, plentiful brush like hairs could be harvested some of the finest of industrial grade brushes could be produced.

The reality of how down right disgusting us fat old potbellied pigs are, was slammed home to me while traveling with a couple of of old guys that had a bigger portable beer holder than I did.

Share a room with one of these potbellied gray steeds, and take a good look at them when they get up, that is if you are feeling strong enough to see yourself as you really are.

If this doesn't make you do two things, you better get some mental help soon. The first thing is often the commitment that "I am really going to work on loosing the 30 pound blob I'm carrying around". The second is, no more shirts off and very seldom any tee shirts.

Topless females should have a full length mirror in each room, and take a sober look before going out, when their years get around 60 years mature, tanning at the salon makes life more pleasant for all of us. The man standing there with his mouth gaping wide might be staring from sheer shock, and not admiration, at a topless senior citizen.

Keep your shirt on, especially if you're at the beach with the family, and some fool gets out the camera. Get that loose fitting, flowered tourist shirt, the one every northern snowbird has a closet full of, and thinks they are a perfect match with his khaki shorts pulled up to his arm pits, and oxford shoes with thin black socks. As your eyes are forced to view this almost comic sight, don't make the mistake of looking at the obscene results of pulling those Walmart khaki shorts as far as they will go.

If I described this unbelievable exhibition of the defying of the very basic laws of nature, I would have to restrict the viewing of this little comment page on us old folks to those over than 18, so I will forgo that for the sake of decency.

To you younger folks, you will get old before you know it, (and may not know it when you are there). To us that are there, use the 3 mile limit rule, leave your shirt on, forget the wifebeater muscle tee shirts (unless you're at least three miles from anyone).

This is what is required on my boat to release any of the sewage held in my toilet holding tank, I must be at least 3 miles from shore. To the eyes of an unsuspecting observer that has the misfortune to see any of us ole pot-bellied pigs in our finest, It ain't pretty, it's in the same class as watching raw sewer bubble out into a beautiful blue ocean paradise, so better yet don't dump it anywhere for the public to have to endure.

The ole fart is still cutting wind